Ever bump into a bully? Let me reword that question, how many times have you had to deal with a bully in your life? Over the years I always have had to deal with this at some juncture.

It shows up in every group of people I have ever had to manage or facilitate. Bully’s come in all shapes and sizes. From a soft spoken 115 pound woman to a 6’4” 280 pound man. All colors, social backgrounds, classes, and education.

I have found the most educated to be the most challenging. Especially the Doctors/PHD’s -Sweet, older, soft spoken passive aggressive woman are second. The easiest are the big guys.

Want to learn how to deal with a bully? Look at them as a scared little girl or boy.  Because that’s at the root of it. A bully is a scared person. If you can imagine them as an 8 year old you will not be apt to get “hooked” into their drama, ego, or story.

By imagining them as an 8 year old you can actually smile at them instead of reacting.  I stilled get hooked once in a while, but I have gotten better over the years.  Sometimes I have actually burst out laughing at their antics that’s a show stopper! They either get angrier or it completely stumps them.

Either way it doesn’t matter.  It’s about them”¦not you. Getting sucked into drama is costly, time consuming and changes nothing towards reaching your goals. Drama does only one thing diverts your progress. There is unavoidable drama:

  • Death of a family member
  • Friends and family hurt or injured
  • Lost love

And then there is avoidable drama:

  • Coworkers or friends lost love and divorce
  • Brenda and Tony’s affair
  • Last night’s football game
  • Last night’s party
  • Jan’s perception of the new guy

All avoidable drama should be avoided if it is steering you away from getting closer to your goals. Sometimes getting caught up in the avoidable drama takes you down an ever growing fester of people taking sides, gossip, lying and flat out back stabbing even career loss.

Long story short be there to help your friends and coworkers who are hurt especially in loss of a loved one and injury. Avoid gossip, be productive and don’t let the outside world take you down in the office.