Are you hooked? Or sometimes getting hooked?
When coaching for business’s a common theme I help work on is with the Leaders that are trying to build a TEAM and then dealing with the pitfalls that occur during that TEAM building process.
A Leader sets out with fantastic intentions. Does the prep work, has a theme for his meeting, set’s the vision, has the values aligned, picks and grooms the perfect members, has an offsite location”¦Everything is an ALL SYSTEMS GO.
The meeting starts, the container is set, everyone “checks in” and commits to being “present” and then someone brings up an issue, or a problem. And it’s a big problem. They were given permission to bring all that they have and this is part of it. The meeting gets derailed. This person has actually hijacked the meeting. You’re hooked!
What would you do in this case? Would you try and coach the problem? Deny their voice in lieu of keeping your agenda? Think about it. How do you not be “hooked” to suck a scenario?
First of all, you never coach the “problem”. You coach the person. So first thing you MUST do is slow down the process by asking the question “What is here now?” That usually gets a puzzling look from everyone there. Look for the emotion that is present. (Mad, sad, glad, fear, or shame) Once that is identified, you can repeat for everyone what the problem is (defined word for word so everyone knows you heard it and nothing was missed) and attach the fear that is with it.
Then ask the associate if you have all the details correct. Once they say you do, then you ask them, “What would you like to do with this emotion for the time being?” That way you can bring them back to the “Big Picture” of why you are there in the first place.
Keeping your eye on the big picture is how you keep the meeting on track. Listening intently, reading the room for the emotions that are present, and slowing down everyone are terrific tools needed for Leadership. Keeps everyone engaged and focused. Would love to hear other great ideas.