When coaching businesses and the people who run or manage them, I first and foremost start with a self-discovery of their depth of emotional intelligence (EQ).
It is my humble opinion, based off what I have studied, researched, and experienced first-hand in running companies, that having a deep level of interpersonal awareness is the “key” to great leadership.
It is also the portal to Being in Purpose. When I get people into their Purpose, it is easier to show them the contrast of the Drama that they are “hooked” into.
The individuals that know what they are feeling can take the steps necessary to move forward more powerfully towards what they want. Clearing the emotion, either by pausing or simply taking a breath, can bring clarity to what is present. Thus giving you the power to ask the question, “What is the data/facts versus the assumptions and judgements?” From that point, knowing what you want is not such a huge step.
My questions are; when will we make this a curriculum? When will we wake up to the facts? Why aren’t we teaching our children the basics and taking it to another level in grade school, high school and college?
We have many pioneers out ahead of us paving the way. Brene Brown’s 10-year study on shame is a masterpiece. Please check her Ted Talk out, or read her book Daring Greatly.
I have the following article I want you to read carefully. Written by brilliant people that have dedicated their lives to the pursuit of such knowledge. http://www.6seconds.org/2013/05/29/healthy-classrooms-emotional-intelligence-and-brain-research/.
In the heat of the battle when I am asked to bring a “team” together, help resolve artificial harmony, or facilitate conflict amongst members of the team, I break down the emotions into bite sized pieces so as to move the parties more quickly.
• Mad (anger)
• Sad (grief)
• Glad (joy)
Acknowledging how one feels in this context brings clarity. Immediately. The previously mentioned website (6 Seconds) breaks down the emotions into 8 sections…
The 8 Basic Emotions
Each of the eight basic emotions has a message that can aid individuals in making good decisions. Taking a pause to consider our feelings can help to make this message clear.
1. Fear: The message is that something needs to change.
2. Anger: The message is to fight against problems.
3. Joy: The message is to remind us what is important.
4. Sadness: The message is to connect us with those we love.
5. Acceptance: The message is to open our hearts.
6. Disgust: The message is reject what is unhealthy.
7. Anticipation: The message is to look forward and plan.
8. Surprise: The message is to focus on new situations.
I keep it simple because my intention is to coach the business up as quickly as possible. With the attempt to get them “into their body” and recognizing these feelings as “indicators” as to what is present.
I think of these emotions as my sixth sense. My body will actually tell me which one I am feeling.
Hair standing up on my arms, tenseness in my jaw, the tightening of my throat choking off my voice, a pit in my gut, stiff neck, my heart fluttering…are all signs from my intuit.
In any and all Leadership situations, knowing what you are feeling will enable you to meet others where they are at. Go to their side of the street so to speak. Influencing or helping someone is much easier if they know you feel what they are feeling…Empathy is very powerful when coaching a business or teammate.
In this super-fast, instant gratification, very intense, ego-centric business culture we have created here in the United States, leaving this gift out of your Leadership is complete and utter ignorance.
Please make your life easier, know what you feel, and meet others where they are at.
Not only will it make the company you are working for or managing run more smoothly…
It might create peace in our world.